60+ Best Funny Quotes For Facebook

Bring a smile to your friend's face by sharing these funny quotes for Facebook. Sometimes, you don't find words to share on your Facebook timelines, this collection of funny quotes will surely help you with your problem. These are the funny Facebook quotes that will surely get you more likes and comments. Whether you are uploading a picture of yourself or a group photo of friends, you can put these quotes in the caption of the picture and make the most of the fun.

Below are the best funny quotes for Facebook that you will love to post on your Facebook profiles, divided into 10 different sections.

Funny Quotes In Facebook

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. - Albert Einstein

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle. - Jack Adams

The only reason people get lost in thought is that its unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it. - Bernard Bailey

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. - George W. Bush

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

Funny Quotes From Facebook

People look for funny quotes from Facebook, so here we have brought these hilarious quotes which will not only bring a smile to your face but will also make your friends laugh and react to your post with a like and/or comment. These quotes are a way to start a discussion on social media forums and will help bring friends more closure. So, stop wasting time and start posting...

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Oftentimes, people take me as a good listener. But the thing is, I just don’t want to talk at the moment.

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

Indeed, we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met.

Funny Facebook Quotes That Will Get Likes

Everyone wants more and more engagement on their Facebook posts, if you are one of them then try sharing these funny Facebook quotes that will get likes and comments on your posts, these are conversation starters and will bring your posts as a highlight of the days. Increase bonding with your Facebook community and know more about your friends by interacting with them. Below are funny quotes for Facebook that will help you to build your Facebook profile stronger.

Even when I don’t need to remember anything, it’s really amazing the things that come to my memory.

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.

It's almost bedtime, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something complicated.

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

Most of the time… when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time… when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time… when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time…

Having kids around makes you feel like engaging in a regular clean-up after a big party you didn’t even attend.

Funny Facebook Quotes That Will Get Likes

Funny Sayings For Facebook

Below are the funny sayings for Facebook profile which you can share and get more likes from your friends. We have collected these from multiple sources so that you can share them on your social profiles not necessarily on Facebook, but you can use them on Twitter, Instagram, and even on WhatsApp. So, start using these funny quotes and sayings for Facebook and start a healthy conversation with your friends.

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.

They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves.

A long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! Clinton Thomas

For those singles out there, stop searching for love or you will just end up getting married.

Waiting in the car is a pretty important part of being a Dad.

All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.

Funny Quotes On Facebook Status

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married… and then it was too late.

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friend's houses, and most places they have already been to!

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

I wonder why people subject themselves to medieval torture devices and call the place a gym house.

Facebook is like a prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said.

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV and having a beer.

Funny Lines For Facebook Status

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

A good friend will pick you up when you fall, but a best friend will help you up, laugh, and trip you again.

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

I want to acquire you the way Facebook acquired Instagram

When I still use my fingers to count, how do you expect me to make life choices?

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!

Funny Quotes for FB Post

It’s childish to making fun of someone you’re angry with. Hit them with your car instead. Be an adult!

You know I rarely make mistakes. So, it’s your fault when I do.

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know... hunting elephants.'

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Funny Quotes for Pictures on Facebook

Have a picture to share? Use below funny quotes for Facebook pictures as captions and bring more colors in your post. A picture without captions does not get more attention than one with a good and funny caption. So, use these funny quotes for pictures on Facebook and start a healthy conversation with your friends and colleagues.

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep... I'm so hungry!

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way!

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - coolfunnyquotes.com

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

Funny Captions for Pictures on Facebook

I believe there should be a better way to start each day… instead of waking up every morning.

Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments.

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles, and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake all of them up in the morning.

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together 😉

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.