The most common phrase we hear is Colder than a witches tits in a brass bra. Well, we don't see witches in brass bras nowadays, but maybe our ancestors have seen it. We are here to give you some real cool colder than jokes and shocks, along with colder than quotes and memes. Whether you are feeling colder because of the weather or maybe a friend of yours is used to say jokes so lame that you start feeling cold. Whether it's colder than a witches or colder than a lame friend, I personally love to read the lamest joke, so do share in the comments if you think yours is the winner.
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This collection of one-liner funny cold quotes is surely going to bring a smile to your face and will give you some awesome shivers.
Don't forget to check our other huge collections of memes:
Cold as Blixen.
"Colder than a banker's heart on foreclosure day at the widows' and orphans' home."
"Colder than a brass toilet seat in the Yukon."
"Colder than a good digger's butt in January."
"Colder than a good digger's hind end."
"Colder than the hinges of hell."
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"It is colder than death."
"It is colder than the souls of men."
"It's colder than a polar bears toenail out there."
"It's colder than when you walk out the shower with no towel."
"It's so cold, ager bumps a-popping' out all over me."
"It's so cold, milk cows gave icicles."
"The weather is almost colder than my heart."
It's colder than my ex-outside.
It's colder than when you walk out of the shower with no towel.
It's colder than a Michael Jackson moonwalk.
Colder Than Sayings - Colder than a witches titty
The one-line colder than a witches tits quotes are all we have here in this section. While doing the research on the topic I came to know about this phrase. At first, I smiled and thought it's just a one-off thing I have read but then this line start popping up in each blog and article. Curious enough, I had to find the origin of this. So here is my finding, the first time this phrase was used in 1932, in a mystery novel "Spider House" written by Francis Van Wyck Mason. The actual phrase is "It's cold as a witch's tit outside."It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere.
It's colder than a fart in a dead Eskimo.
It's colder than Saddam's current toilet seat.
It's colder than Ted William's head.
It's colder than a mother-in-law's kiss.
It's colder than Jack Frost's toes after he skates on an icy pond.
It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.
It's colder than a penguin's pecker.
It's so cold the dogs are sticking to the fire hydrants.
It's colder than a polar bear's butt.
It's colder than a witch's belt buckle.
It's colder than Chris Cringle's jockstrap.
It's colder than a grave digger's shovel.
It's colder than a mortician's mistress.
It's colder than a day-old dumpling.
It's colder than skinny dipping in a snowstorm.
It's colder than in a freezer Antarctica.
It's colder than the end of an Eskimo's tool.
It's colder than a room full of ex-wives.
It's colder than a bucket of snowman piss.
It is so cold even property taxes are frozen.
It is so cold my boogers are freezing together.
It is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
It is so cold my cat climbs into the refrigerator just to warm up.
It is so cold Bill Clinton is sleeping with his own wife.
It is so cold snowmen are migrating south.
It is so cold I could cut glass with my nipples.
It is so cold it feels like I'm breathing liquid oxygen.
It is so cold my campfire froze.
It is so cold even the dog wanted a cup of coffee.
It is so cold my eyelids froze shut.
It is so cold hookers were giving free blow jobs just to get something warm in their stomachs.
It is so cold I'm using an ice tray as a heating pad.
It is so cold my sweaters need sweaters.
It is so cold even global warming tree-huggers are wearing hats and mittens.
It is so cold the polar bears are shivering.
It is so cold you can toss a cup of hot water in the air and hear it shatter into ice crystals.
Brace yourselves; internet… winter memes are coming because it's winter outside and the internet tends to be very cyclical and topical. If there's snow and it's cold the internet makes funny winter memes. I'm sorry to be the one to break this startling truth to you.